Well Here we go again... I am all alone at the church accept this time PR's office is cleaned out... I know that there is no chance for him to come back to be Youth Pastor here @ Faith Assembly of God... The more that I am around the adults of this church, since he has been gone makes me want to leave as well. I feel so uncomfortable here, I mean I love the youth with all my heart and want to continue to instill the values of being "A Loser @ Heart" with each and every one of them!!! But I don't know if I can live with this feeling that I have. It's not depression even tho I am depressed about the whole thing. It's more like everything that I am is dragging me away, it feels like the only thing that I'm holding on to is my desire to teach the students a little bit more before I do finally leave in the end... But I am just now realizing that in that statement only one word stood out in my mind "MY"... am I being selfish... am I being Jonah... do I have what it takes to go with nothing, No job, No money, No workers comp... do I have what it takes to be the Loser that I am trying to teach the students to be... Or am I a hypocrite? I say that I will drop everything and follow Jesus... But what would have happened if Mathew had said I'll just finish fishing and then I'll catch up... (I'll just finish this soccer season then I'll catch up...)(Sound Similar) Now I know that PR is not Jesus... not even close... sorry Buddy. But I must say that I have this calling this deep sense/feeling that God has put in my life and Pastor Ron & Becca are somehow molded into Gods plan for where He wants to take me on the journey of my life. As I was sitting talking with some of the 3D drama team the other day when they were at Faith Assembly for our Sr. Night. We got to talking really deep and I had already vented to them some of my problems and concerns and they simply said to turn my heart to God and listen to what He had to say. He then told me a story about when Paul was in Jail with Silas and how they were beaten, shackled, locked up in a prison cell, and how they had clearly lost the battle. But did Paul and Silas give up on God?
NO Did God give up on them? NO Of course God did not give up on Paul and Silas because He had His hand on every movement that they made in there ministry! And then he went on to finish the story even though by then I knew how it ended... "PR and Myself sang praises unto the Lord and He broke the chains, shackles, and opened the cell door for us to continue ministering/preaching/spreading His word wherever He directs us!"
Acts 16:22-24 Then the multitude rose up together against them; and the magistrates tore off their clothes
and commanded them to be beaten with rods. And when they had laid many
stripes on them, they threw them into prison, commanding the jailer to
keep them securely. Having received such a charge, he put them into the
inner prison and fastened their feet in the stocks. This is a
picture of what the enemy does to us. He strips us of our finances and
our dignity and beats us up and puts us in bondage. He gets us to the
point where we are all bound up, condemning ourselves, thinking we are
losers, keeping us captive to strongholds.
Acts 16:25-26 But
at midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and
the prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly there was a great
earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken; and
immediately all the doors were opened and everyone's chains were loosed. But at the Midnight Hour, when things look the darkest, the hour of our
revelation, when we are able to realize who we serve and stand up
victoriously and understand who we are in Christ, we start singing
praises to God. Praise is warfare. In the Bible we see Jehosephat
sending the singers and musicians out first. Praise is a powerful force
against the enemy. Something happens when we praise God, especially
when we are going through a really tough time. It confuses the enem
y.
When we are able to praise Him no matter what the circumstance, He
tears down the walls of the prison built up all around us. And at the
right time, at the midnight hour, the walls come tumbling down. When
the enemy has you oppressed at the midnight hour, start lifting up the
name of the Lord! He shows up, and He frees us from bondage.
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